Last weekend my tween struggled with the assignment of memorizing a long declamation piece that was in Filipino. The entire class was expected to memorize the piece because they will each be asked to deliver it in class, for the teacher to see who gets to represent the class in an intersection declamation contest.

As I tried to ease my son's stress by helping him with technique, I remembered how, as grade 6 students a long time ago, my classmates and I were each asked to sing in class as our teacher searched for the best contestant in an inter-level singing contest.  While I did not have any qualms singing or speaking in public, I distinctly remember the discomfort of seeing others struggle with the task. I pondered just how practical and productive these auditions are.

No matter how the students try their darnedest, and even if half the class memorizes the poem and a third delivers it superbly, only ONE gets the honor of competing on behalf of the class.  What then is the point of subjecting the entire class, 40 or so of them, to the struggle? Some, like my son, have trouble with Filipino. Some have terrible stage fright and do not like public speaking, much more singing. These students will each squirm uncomfortably on their seats as their turn draws near, subject themselves to at least a minute of sheer terror and/or embarrassment struggling with the declamation (or in our case, the singing), and then afterwards will just be cast as rejects of the imposed audition. 

The experience then makes them believe even more that they are poor public speakers or are terrible in Filipino.  They feel incompetent when in fact they could just be very good in other things (Mathematics, Science, drawing, writing).  In effect, instead of developing and honing and thereby, uplifting, the exercise does the opposite for a significant part of the class.

Lamentably, the audition does not even provide meaningful literary exposure.  The piece that was assigned is by an unknown author, is of sketchy, amateurish composition, and unremarkable argument.  I could not imagine how the teacher can sit through 20 or so repetitions of the piece (as she searches for the best declaimer), without falling asleep or losing interest in what is going on.  After all the effort they put in, the students could well be performing to a wall.  Tsk, tsk, tsk. 
Overall then, for me, the entire exercise is a total waste of time and effort. Isn't there a better way?

Perhaps the audition could have served a better purpose had it been offered as additional work, where only those really interested can volunteer to participate, who would be tasked to memorize and rehearse the piece, who will perform in class, and then get extra credit for their effort.   This way, parents are saved from stress, the disinterested/disinclined  students are saved from fright or embarrassment, their energies are saved for better-fitted pursuits, and the teacher saves time looking for her champion.  There. All happy.

... so I can change the Educational System.

We're fresh from monthly exams, where I found myself tutoring Gabriel in Hekasi (Heograpiya, Sibika at Kasaysayan) and teaching for the nth time, the story of the Spanish Conquest of the Philippines.  We talked about Miguel Lopez de Legaspi, how the once pagan Filipinos become Christians; of the Encomienda System, the Tributo, Bandala, Polo and the Manila-Acapulco Galleon Trade.

I have no bones to pick with History, really.  I think it is important that we teach our children where our country was and how we got to where we are now. But I think to teach it for 3 years (in the intermediate level -- Grades 4, 5 and 6) is redundant, a waste of time, tuition and money for textbooks.  Also, since it is the past, there is very little of it --  other than such abstract things as independence, equality and justice--that can be applied in real life, it becomes a thing to memorize rather than appreciate, a task rather than a tool.

There are so many, other things worth tackling in Social Studies. Things more relevant, applicable and current.  Topics that, have they  been taught in Grade School, would have built a good foundation for High School and later as helpful guides towards being responsible adult citizens.

Take for example the riotous demolitions that were in the news lately.  The squatters hurled glass bottles at the demolition team, while some made teary-eyed statements to the media.  Had Social Studies (or Sibika) in school tackled the basics of Human Rights (that while it is alright to fight for your rights, it is not alright to be violent), and Property Laws (that you cannot own anything without having to pay for it or without it being donated to you by the rightful owner), these ADULTS would have acted less like children and more of the responsible citizens they should be by this time.

Maybe it's just me, but I think there pervades a feeling of being the underdog, of being the biktima, of being the oppressed, which I think got drilled into our minds by the repeated exposure to the stories of the abuse we suffered under the hands of our colonizers. It is one thing to fall down, but to stay down is another.  I think we need to move on from the feeling of being kawawa and help ourselves, use the lessons of our experiences so that we do not become kawawa anymore.  Apart from focusing on our past, I think that it is more important, more crucial for our education to glean from what's happening in the present and use that to educate our students towards being more prepared for the future. 

These figures in History, they can be put in bulletin boards and read about; maybe asked in exams in at most five multiple-choice items.  These happening to us right now, they ought to be discussed, learned from and applied. Like I said, more tools, less tasks.

... had a haircut
... have been to any of my alma maters (Sta. Catalina, UP and DLSU-GSB)
... baked
... sang in a public performance
... saw any of my old friends (miss you people!)
... read a good book
... went out of the country
... wrote anything significant
... wrote a letter longhand
... had any picture of me taken
... put on make-up (darned allergic rhinitis...)
... have gone to the beach
... lost a great deal of weight (sigh, sigh, sigh)
... ate anything really decadent
... had restful, 8-hour sleep
... had a day for myself, without having anything to do...

Last Monday, September 7 was hurriedly declared a Special Non-Working Holiday. But as WOO* I was working nonetheless.

Out for lunch I overheard some people in work uniforms debating the pay treatment for their work that day. "Double ba? Di ba dapat double pay?"

I was compelled to intervene** and said, "Hindi, 130% lang. Yung sueldo nyo para sa araw na ito plus 30%. Yung hindi pumasok, no pay."

I think people get confused with the rules on pay treatment because of how the holidays are labeled - Regular and Special. To common thinking, Special should be given HIGHER PAY because it's special. (Just as Special Halo-Halo is more expensive than Regular Halo-Halo.) The common tao will not think Regular means recurring, nor that Special means not usually.

If I were president I'd change the labels to Yearly/Usual Holidays (which would mean we have it every year, same dates) and Occasional Holidays, those declared on occasion, which dates change according to Malacanang Proclamation.

All in favor say Aye! :)

===

* WOO = Wife Of the Owner
** having spent almost six years in Amkor, I found the leaving no-stones-leaving-no-questions unanswered culture hard to shake .

At lunchtime today, while I wasn't looking, a can of coconut cream dropped from my shopping cart onto my poor, unsuspecting left big toe. Right smack on the joint.

I managed a muffled "God damn it!," winced and reached into my bag for some tissue to wipe the blood that was flowing from the gash. I tried applying pressure to stop the bleeding but the area hurt so bad, I had to remind myself I'm 35 years old and in a public place to stop myself from crying.

I stood there for a good two minutes steeling myself. I managed to put back the offending can back into the shopping cart. Limping, and with my sandal straps brushing the injury, I managed to get to the checkout counter and pay.

The area was swollen, black and blue by the time I got back to the car.

Then tonight, as I stood to fetch this laptop to type up this post, I, barefoot, stepped on one of Mika's eensy weensy hair clamps -- the ones with teeth.

I'm just up for grabs today, ain't I?

Mike: "Ang bilis mo, ah! Naka-100 ka kanina!"

Me: "Of course not! 60 lang ako! I know kasi tingin nga ako ng tingin sa speedometer dahil inip na inip ako dun sa sinusundan kong van na naka-hazard lights pa!"

Mike: "Oo nga, pero nung nalampasan mo na 'yung van, naka-100 ka na!"

Me: "Di, 'no! 80 lang ako!"

Then mom chirps in, "Eh siguro kasi si Mike 100 na di ka pa ma-overtake-an."

Me: "Di n'ya ako ma-overtake-an dahil ayaw niya akong iwanan! Binuntutan nga ako, naka-high beam pa, silaw na silaw kaya ako tuwing titingin ako sa rear view!"

I've been a licensed driver for almost a year now, the first few months of which were spent driving a manual Suzuki Alto through in-roads on the way to work and back. It was only last December that I was allowed to use the SLEX, after I was given an automatic Ford Focus.

He doesn't trust my reflexes, he said.

But there was really no turning back after my first SLEX drive. I drove myself farther, to test and hone my driving skills. First was Alabang, then to Sucat (twice), then Magallanes, then the International Airport (through a portion of EDSA), and very recently, the Chinese Embassy in Makati.

Save for the fact that I missed to take a left to Pasay/EDSA on my first drive to the airport (which meant I had to drive all the way to the U-turn slot under the Buendia bridge), all of my trips have been uneventful.

Well, that is discounting my labors at parking in SM malls... but that's another story. :)

Mike and I were driving to work, when a bunch of teenagers crossed the street. The one nearest the car had tattoo on his arms, and looked like he bummed all his life. I exclaimed, "Labs, paano kung ganyan ang maging boyfriend ni Mika? Papayag ka bang mga pakalat-kalat lang sa kanto ang maging boyfriend niya? Ako hindi!"

Mike replied with an amused smile, "Ang aga mong kinukunsumi ang sarili mo."

Ha! I'm just dealing with the hypothetical, let's see him deal with the actual eventually. :)

===

On a separate occasion I was with a dear friend/ Frustrated at her zero lovelife, she blurted out:

"Hay naku, antayin ko na lang kayang lumaki si Gambel?! " (She meant she'd wait till he grows up and she'd have him for a boyfriend, or a husband.)

She was joking of course, and I said, "Naku, wag na. Masarap akong kaibigan pero hindi ako magandang biyenan! (You better think again. I may be a good friend, but I make a terrible mother in law!)"

I was kidding too, of course, but I suppose my saying it meant I kinda believed it somehow. While I don't intend to make life a hell for the people my children will eventually marry, I wish I can influence who they'd end up with. As I always want the best for them, I wish they'd up with people who would love and care for them even more than we have. Who'd respect them, support their dreams, stay committed to their marriage and the family... of course it wouldn't hurt if they're well educated, have the same background, and good looking! :)

This, when my kids are all below 12 years old! Tama si Mike, ang aga kong kunsumihin ang sarili ko! :)

Kawawa, I haven't been reading books lately. Make that for the longest time lately. Reading was the first to go after I signed up to be Mrs. Vice General Manager simultaneous with being Teacher Mom and now, add to the list, Exclusively Breastfeeding Mom.*

How do I hang on to my sanity?

I cook and blog (when I can), but usually I hie away for a good five minutes and blog hop. I found this blog which is really gooood. Dali, go see what I'm talking about.

Mike is currently in Datong City in the northernmost part of China's Shanxi province, bordered by Inner Mongolia in the north and Hebei province (where Beijing is) at the east.

How far is that from here?

Well, we Filipinos do not express 'far' in terms of distance but by hours. Last Wednesday Mike travelled 2 hours by air to Hong Kong, then took a 45-minute ferry ride to Humen port in Guangzhou in Guangdong province to meet with some suppliers. From there, he flew for almost 4 hours yesterday to Datong.

Clocked 6 hours air travel, 45 minutes by sea, a few hours on land.

He's there to inspect some items and visit factories for our business, while I'm left here with the house to keep, kids to watch, a baby to care for and a business to run. Good thing I'm no longer in grad school, or my sanity would be hanging by a thread. (It's currently hanging by a ribbon. Haha.)

Oh, the things we do for a living.

Last Friday we said goodbye to the house we grew up in. With the three of us having our own lives (and homes), Mom decided to rent out her empty nest as she ponders on the eventuality of selling it. I get sad thinking that while it is still our house, it's now somebody else's home, and all of the memories of our childhood, teenage years, even the memories of my first years of marriage in that house are -- how do I put it? -- tainted, struck over by the presence of complete strangers...

This morning we took Mom to the airport for her flight back to Brisbane. Her one-month stay was just too short, most of it spent on clearing out the house. How do you clear out 20 years of stuff in four weeks, anyway? We didn't even have the chance to do the stuff we used to do together.

Then tonight, we said goodbye to Everest, the first ever brand new car we owned. Selling her felt like losing a member of the family. The five of us stood a long time watching her until she disappeared from view. (The last time I felt like this was when we sold our Nissan California, our first car.) I know I would wax sentimental seeing her on the road driven by somebody else...

Three goodbyes in just three days? My heart can only take so much heartbreak.

I finally had time for an ultrasound scan before New Year's Day and received the good news -- I'm having a girl. Yay!

We're naming her Annamika. While it's an amalgam of our names, it also means 'grace' and 'who is like God' . I haven't decided on additional names.

Now, since I'm at it, let me talk about names.

Parents usually want to give unique names to their kids. Apart from the desire to distinguish their kids from the millions of Juans and Juanas in the NBI files, there is the desire to be called creative. This has brought about foreign (even weird-sounding) names, names that are too long, too hard to spell or pronounce, and names that may not even have any meaning at all.

As for me, I choose names based on three criteria: first, it should go well with our family name (which sounds very Filipino). English names sound good by themselves, but paired with Filipino last names they're a different story altogether. Try "Lisa Marie Dimaguiba" or "Richmond Albert Thaddeus Palakpakan." Di bagay, di ba?

Second, dapat hindi mahirap i-spell or i-pronounce. Life is already complicated as it is, I don't want to complicate it further by spending time correcting people on how to say my kid's name. Lalo namang ayokong pahirapan ang batang i-memorize ang spelling ng sarili niyang pangalan!
Then of course, the meaning. Some people name their kids Tallulah, Sushmita, Akihito, etc, in the interest of being unique. But what does the name actually mean, and does it even go anywhere close the personality or appearance of the person named? Might be that the name means white and pure, and the person isn't.

And I won't even go into nicknames.

That said, to each his own. :)

========

I noticed more and more parents are giving their kids foreign sounding names, usually French. I noticed though that since it's adapted, there are mistakes in spelling or assignment, and I've met boys named Dominique and Gabrielle. The feeling is very akin to being introduced to a man named Baby or Fely.

In the interest of correct spelling and pronounciation, here's a little guide (masculine form followed by the female counterpart):

1. Louis (pronounced Louie and not Luis) - Louise
2. Jean (pron. zhe-an) - Jeanette or Jeanine
3. Dominic - Dominique
4. Andre - Andree (pron. An-drey)
5. Daniel - Danielle
6. Gabriel - Gabrielle
7. Emmanuel - Emmanuelle
8. Michel (pron. Mi-shel) - Michelle
9. Rene - Renee
10. Christian - Christiane

Dear Tchr. V,

Last night I helped my son review for his test in PE, and noted his struggle with computing for Body Mass Index (BMI). The difficulty lay not in the formula per se, but in the actual computation, because it involved decimal numbers which they have not yet covered in class. He also told me that they're not allowed to use calculators for the computation.

Please enlighten me:

1) Why are they not allowed to use calculators in PE? Why, is the stress on the ability to compute, rather than on the understanding of physical fitness concepts? If it is equally important that they know how to compute long hand even in PE, is it not unfair to expect the children to do something they have not yet been taught to do?

2) I noted that while the BMI and the BMI formula were in his notes, there was NO discussion of what BMI means or how it relates to physical fitness. More importantly, there was no discussion on how one can improve his BMI, or achieve better physical fitness. Is there any particular reason for this?

My son also showed me drill sheets he accomplished in Arts, on Calligraphy, which the teacher asked him to redo because they were not up to standard. I learned however that they were not shown how to use the calligraphy pen, or how to execute the calligraphy strokes using the pen. When he was told to redo his drill sheets, he was not told where he went wrong or what he was supposed to improve.

I am sorry, but I am confused -- is it not that the role of the teacher is to impart knowledge and understanding, by explanation, demonstration, and then encouraging exploration and curiosity? Is it not that the teacher is supposed to encourage improvement in the child by giving meaningful feedback? All these were absent in the two areas I raised here (PE and Arts). Am I wrong, or has education changed?

I had wanted to discuss this in person but the reality of work and other responsibilities prevent me from coming to see you. Nevertheless I hope you could please 1) remedy the situation and 2) send me a reply. Thank you and God bless.

--o00--

Rule #1: If you have to live with the guilt of doing something totally radical and paying for it big time, there better be a good reason...

Remember your first watch? Your first bike? Getting to keep stray cats? Riding up and down the escalator over and over?


Rule #5: Wherever you are, whoever you are, no matter what you're doing, there's always the chance to slow down, sit a while, watch the world... and take pictures!

How do you move four years worth of stuff? How do you make sense of the heaps of clothes, books, toys, files, houseware, hardware at your feet? How do you stop time, so that you can focus on making sense of a snowballing mess, without the rest of your worries gnawing at you, and your greater world falling apart?

How do you make others see things from your eyes? How do you explain why you like things a certain way, and why you want them done now, here, at once? How can you be several things, at several places at one time?

How do you answer "How are you?" apart from "Busy," when all you can think of are synonyms and derivatives -- in a hurry, distressed, harassed, overwhelmed?

This Sunday, I will turn 33. What do I have to show for it? If before or after this birthday I pass on to the afterlife, will people remember me for something worthwhile?

***

An "anonymous" reader left a comment in one of my other blogs, and here's a portion of it: " ...I remember the book I read, written by Mitch Albom, it said, 'So many people walk around with meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things...'

...The way you get meaning into life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." I entirely agree with the author. Do you?..."

***
Oh yes I do. For six years of my life I chased the wrong things. For six years I thought my purpose in life was to prove myself to others -- to show how good and talented I was, especially to my bosses. So I worked hard, spent long hours at work. And even when I was home, my mind was still preoccupied with work.

But the more I gave, the more work demanded. When I was supposed to be resting in bed because of a threatened abortion, I let my boss talk me into being fetched for work.

Then one day, I realized (albeit too late), LIFE has passed me by. Because I was "needed," I passed up rest and recreation when work beckoned. I neglected my health, getting little exercise and missing medical checkups. I rarely saw my friends, and had been half-absent through my son's formative years.

So one day, I took a leap of faith and resigned. And so at least, in the last 4 years, I have been chasing what I believe are the right things -- time with my family; financial independence that I could leave as a legacy; health and friendships. And while my responsibilities have increased five-fold, what I do now are far more rewarding and enriching.

Those of you who are here in the Philippines must have seen the latest mayonnaise commercial, which was about a wife trying to help her husband find a gift for the boss. In the course of their shopping, she suggests a bottle of wine, a neck tie and a swiss knife, all of which the husband turned down, saying "Meron na siya niyan, (He has that.)"

That commercial played again one time while my husband/boss and I were having breakfast, and I seized the opportunity.

"Ano kaya'ng ireregalo ko sa boss ko? (What do you think should I give my boss?)" I asked out loud.

Playing along, my husband-boss replied, "Meron na siya niyan."

I persisted, "Ano nga kayang gusto niyang iregalo ko sa kanya? (What does he want to get for a gift from me?)"

"Huwag mo nang pagkaabalahan yung boss mo, (Don't bother with him)," was the reply between bites of pandesal.

He definitely wasn't making it easy.

----------

Well, getting him a gift has never been easy.

For one, our interests are very different. He doesn't like reading, and is not into arts or photography. And I'm more techie than he is, so IT gadgetry are out.

The areas that interest him -- electronics, hydraulics, electricity -- are simply not within my circle of competence. I dare not buy him electronic gadgets, tools or equipment for his line of work because I just might end up buying something he cannot or will not use.

For most of the occasions that I did have an idea of a gift he'd love, he beat me to buying them. Once in passing he mentioned he needed a plastic watch for when he jogs, so I planned to get one for him for Fathers' Day. We were out in Southmall, and while he was somewhere having his metal watch checked, I was eyeing a Casio G-Shock and planned to return and buy it the following day. When we met up a few minutes later, he was already wearing a Casio G-Shock, even more expensive than the one I was out to buy. On separate occasions I meant to get him a hunting knife, a fishing rod, a billiard stick. He beat me to buying them. Sheesh.

I've already given him his very own movie poster -- his face instead of Tom Cruise's, in Top Gun -- which I did with Photoshop. If I give him another one it's not going to be anything new...

I can't be generic with him. Can't buy him a shirt, shoes, perfume -- meron na siya niyan. And besides, kahiya, he's been very generous, so I want to give back something of that generosity and give him something special, which says I put in some thought into the gift.

I want to make bawi too because I wasn't able to give him a decent gift during his last birthday, as we were in Mindanao, mourning.

So what's it gonna be? Any suggestions? What are you giving the Significant Man in your life?
Here's some of what I have in mind (don't worry, unless I make him, hubby doesn't read my blogs):


1) An acoustic guitar. He can play a few tunes, more with the guide of a chordbook. We can use this to unwind. The hitch: when do I get out to buy this before Christmas? Where do I hide it? And I don't know a lot about guitars to buy him a decent one... That in the picture is an Ovation Standard Balladeer, by the way. Photo for reference purposes only. Cost way beyond means. :)






2) A formal-looking leather-strap watch. For his barong days, which have become frequent recently. But since he's not had the chance to buy a leather watch, he's been wearing his jogging watch (the Casio G-Shock) with his barong. Hehehe. I hope he doesn't beat me to this one... a Pierre Cardin.

3) Rockport leather sandals. For when he travels. He actually brings his rubber house slippers. Time to leave them home and bring something more, er, presentable. :) I hope I get the size right...

4) A baby girl. Now this one will take me nine months plus an indefinite production time, and the 50% chance of producing one that's not according to specifications (read: a boy). Definitely not available by Christmas, but in all likelihood something he will like, something he can't beat me to buying. Besides, wala pa siya niyan. :)

Dear Mom,

Sayang di (na naman) pumasok ang apo mo sa DL. Nung 1st quarter all his grades were 88 and above, pero di umabot sa 90 ang average. Ngayon bukod sa di umabot sa 90, meron din siyang grade na 85, sa Science. I said sayang not because I will die kung di siya ma-honor -- you know I know better than that. Nanghihinayang ako kasi naramdaman ko yung drive nung bata, pero eto nga, na-frustrate.

Yung Science/Science teacher ang ipinunta ko na naman sa school nila few weeks back, kasi nagbigay daw ng quiz, tapos halos lahat sila mababa ang score. Yung iba, bagsak. Nagalit pa daw yung teacher sa kanila, saying talo pa sila ng second section (I don't know how true). When I told the principal about it, she committed a re-test.

Tapos nung kinuha ko nga yung card last Sunday, I learned na lahat ng bata, including those in the Top 10, bumaba ang grades. I asked the adviser kung saan ang tingin nilang problema -- di pa daw nila alam, they will analyze pa daw. Pero siguro daw ito lang yung time na ang mga utak ng mga bata, naglaro. I nearly laughed out loud at the idea. What a flimsy excuse! That's a given -- children will always like playing over studying! Ang gusto kong itanong, so now that you think that's what happened, what do you intend to do about it? Hindi ko tinanong kasi magmumukha akong intrimitida. Actually, tingin ko may ganoon na nga akong image, lalo lang maco-confirm...

Once I went to the school to pay tuition. That was a rare event, kasi usually pinapakisabay ko na lang sa friend ko 'yung bayad. So nagulat ako nung pagkalapit ko dun sa Cashier's Window, nai-type na nung clerk yung last name ko sa computer at nailabas na niya yung record ng apo mo. She knows me! Weird.

So pagbalik ko sa sasakyan, kinuwento ko yun sa asawa ko. Sabi ko ang galing naman nung memory nung clerk, kasi last time na nakita niya ako was last June pa. Sabi sa akin, hindi daw, meron na daw naka-paskil na picture ko sa offices nung school, may warning: "Beware of this woman. Mataray. Mabangis. Mahilig sumulat sa school." Nakalagay daw ang pangalan ko sa ilalim nung picture, kaya daw alam na nung clerk yung last name ko. Eh?

One of my friends confirmed this -- well, hindi naman yung may picture nga ako or something. She's a teacher too (in another school) and meron na silang "roster" ng mga dreaded parents. Kapag may dumating from among those dreaded parents, news travel fast at nalalaman nila. So malamang nga daw ganun ang sa akin. Nge!

So whatever happened to "the school and the parents must work hand in hand to give children the best education possible"? How can I expect them to give my son a good education kung sila mismo ayaw matuto from feedback and criticism? Aaarrrggh.

Ngayon kasi, hindi na ministerial ang education, but income-generation. Negosyo. Maraming teachers naging teachers for the job, not because they want to teach, much less, love to teach. The whole sector is a problem -- DepEd developed a curriculum that's supposed to mold students into citizens who can help the Philippines go global; pero hindi naman ready ang infrastructure -- kulang ang classrooms, kulang or di competent ang teachers, ang textbooks kung pano-pano lang. (In fact some of them read like mere compilations.)

Then, maraming teachers, as I said, incidental. This is not to generalize, but some teachers end up as teachers kasi they took up Educ kasi yun na lang ang course na naiwang available sa kanila. (Sige, go ahead, ask why.) Yung iba namang magagaling, nag-Educ so they can teach abroad, stepping stone lang yung dito. In general, overwhelming o disinteresting na nga yung subject, di pa ginagawan na maibaba sa level ng students or make it interesting. I find myself re-teaching, correcting (!) yung mga mali o incomplete na turo, or supplementing kasi nga superficial ang treatment.

All these considered, totoo nga, intrimitida nga ako. Hay. :P

--Len

Amoy pomada.
I turned to glance casually at the direction where the overpowering smell of hair pomade was coming from. I expected to see a male senior citizen dressed to the nines, with an attache case, his hair looking like it was licked by a cow-- stereotyped users of the green, greasy gel of a bygone age.

I didn't see that. Instead it was a man in his 50s, in jeans, a tee and sneakers, hair slick with pomade.

And that smell. Unmistakable grease on hair.

Anyhow, interestingly, that made me remember Dad. Aboard the jeep cruising along Ayala Avenue, I took a trip back in time and once again I was a little girl watching him get ready for work. I saw him putting on after-shave cologne and then, styling his then thinning hair; not with pomade, but with Brylcreem. He used to scoop a little of the hairdressing cream with his fingers, spread some on his hair and comb and style his locks meticulously with his favorite brown and beige comb (the kind that sells for about 5 pesos in Baclaran). That, every single morning. Despite earning monickers from me -- Shaggy (for sha-gilid lang ang buhok); Pepito (Pipito lang ang buhok) and Andy (Andidito lang ang buhok). Dad was never pikon. He would just press his lips together in a suppressed smile, his eyes twinkling with the pride of having passed on mischief and sense of humor to his daughter. :)

Dad was a dapper dresser. While his clothes weren't designer labels or expensive, they were always neat and clean. When he had the time dad used to iron his clothes himself, being very particular about the lines on his pants and the arch of his collars. And he wasn't one who would leave the house with less than gleaming shoes.

Dad always smelled good. He religiously took a shower before bed, each time powdering himself and spraying on some after shave. He smelled so good that one time, when my mom was infanticipating, he got kicked out of bed and was sent out of the room because he was mabaho. :)

There was one time dad was really mabaho-- also the one time he got home so drunk and barely made it through the door. When mom found him slumped and snoring by the sofa, she sent out for a dozen bottles of beer, opened them up and drizzled dad with the contents. Dad was a stinky, icky Pete the morning after and promised HIMSELF never to drink so much ever again.

There's just so much I remember about dad, and it's sad that he's no longer around to laugh with me over these silly memories. On Sunday it's been a year since he's passed, yet I still wish it had just been a bad dream and one day I'd hear him calling my name again.

They say friends are God's way of apologizing for the family you end up with. I don't think there's any reason to apologize for mine, but I've really ended up with terrific friends, God must really love me! :)

I have girl friends, male friends, gay friends. I have academic, social, political even cultural friends. Some I have been with for almost two decades, some I am just starting to get to know. Some I share emotional, heavily-laden moments with. With some, light, fun-filled, even comic episodes. Some live nearby, and we see and talk with each other almost everyday. Some are away, and we reconnect and re-start where we left off, online.

All are my staunch supporters -- some more vocal, some with quiet assurance. All are inspirations -- to be kinder, wiser, funnier, sexier, more patient, more creative, sportier, calmer, healthier, better. All touched me with the gift of their time and understanding, at one time or the other giving themselves. All have contributed to who I am now. All have enriched this life I so gratefully enjoy.

And so today, as I look out the window and see the pouring rain, I thank God for the pouring of friends into my life:

Claire, Haidz, Cheche, Marsha, Bryant, Donski, Marlon, Chelle, Beng, Au, Joyce, Odess, Joey, Cesar, TJ, May M, May P, May C, Malou, Lito, Jeng, Rel, Cherry, Olive, Sharon, Chad, Sylvia, Ryann, Jenn, Marko, Jeffrey, Carol, Patrick, Helen, Cel, Ate Mafe, Rain, Chie, Jen, Jason, Ariel, Dang... and more whose names escape my mind at the moment but whose memory will never escape my heart! :)