Forever 21

Personally, I am taken aback when people who I didn't see for a while tell me: "You haven't changed!" At the back of my mind, I am tempted to reply with a naughty, "Why, did you expect me to mutate?!" What I do actually, is just smile and say, "Thanks." Then I ponder, hindi nga ba ako nagbago?

Well, the answer is YES and NO. Yes, I have changed in more ways than one. I've gained weight and lines on my face, lost hair and teeth, mellowed a little (in terms of recklessness and impassion) and have become brave and bold in areas I didn't think I'd be in before.

And no, I'm still the same old me, the one who worries over little details, who's still crazily emotional, who over-analyzes things, who finds herself drawn to existential neuroses like Ally McBeal and who keeps writing to quiet her thoughts... I like reviewing the past.. like a map, it gives me a sense of direction, giving me a sense of where I've been and a perspective of where I should be. Memories, both good and bad, enrich me and my thinking. Moreover, knowing I am surrounded by loving, caring friends energize me and help me feel forever 21. :)

Back in UP, in Buklod-Isip (Filipino Psych Org) we had a logbuk, which as it name suggests, functioned like a log...of announcements and documentations primarily, yet later, became a public blog (I'd like to think kami ang nagpa-uso ng blog.. hahaha).

The entries were pretty funny, emotional, functional.. a myriad of angst, worries, delight, happiness, sadness... quite a good capsule of time, thoughts and sentiments. I think (and hope) the next generation Bukids (as the members are called, short for Buklod Kids) have safekept our logbuks. Ang tindi ng "sementemental" value ng mga iyon! While most of the logs (and communication) within org members happen via the logbuk, some are also sent via notes (kse wala pang SMS no'n, no!). And being the sentimentalist that I am, I still kept all of the notes I received from friends and co-bukids. I share one here:

=======================================

I was once Lukas - "Lupon ng Kasapian" or Membership Committee Chief of UP Buklod Isip. At that time I also ran for and won the CSSP Rep seat in the University Student Council, had high grades, but a lovelife going downhill. This letter was written after a serious breakup, the letter coming from then Buklod Isip Bos-Tsip (or Chairman), who happened to be a friend of my erstwhile boyfriend, who, being the gentleman and kind friend he was, tried to help me heal by giving me something to focus my energies on and tried to help me put things in perspective. Between us, a reference to "family life" or "pamilya" meant my academic standing, and a reference to "academik life" meant my lovelife. Read on and savor the flavor of writing that only sentimentalists and crazy people like us understand :)

Anneski,

Huwag ka munang hihirit ng kung ano dahil hindi ako mangungumusta ng pamilya mo. May ano kasi eh.. ganito kasi yon.. parang ano kasi eh.. aaah.. aaah.. me pebor* sana ako hingi sa yo.. (he he he). Pero kung ikaw naman marami gawa at marami atupag, okey lang akin. Ikaw lang kasi tao pwede gawa ito maselan saka "interesting" trabaho. (Di ba ikaw hanap din marami trabaho?) Pero gaya nga akin sabi na, pwede ikaw tanggi. Yung ISA "malayang ding-ding" kasi, hindi pa nakukulit este.. nakokoleyt. Baka sakali pwede mo ito gawa, BOSS, ako luhod iyo harap para ikaw payag. Ako bigay pa iyo isang platito kornik. Ano?...Talaga...? Ikaw payag na?... Yehey!!! Ikaw talaga, da bes. Kung meron ikaw tanong, tanong ikaw sa akin o kaya iwan ka na lang liham sa "tusukang dingding." Kung ikaw tanggi, ako bigay iyo platito, 'ala na kornik.

Hah! Ako nabasa na iyo sulat logbuklet. Ikaw hilig pa rin tumula.. 'Lam mo, sabi lolo ng akin lolo, ang tao mahilig tumula, 'alang napapala. Ako naman bigay iyo kapiranggot na bahagi akin personal dayari. Akin sulat ito ng panahon magulo akin utak.

Anybody can fall in love -- that is easy; but to fall in love w/ the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right intentions, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. Ano iyo palagay? Oke! Sige na. Babluuuu!!

P.S. Kumusta nga pala iyo academik life?

(*pebor - in French, tulong; In Italian, saklolo.)

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Why AnneThology?

Anthology means a collection of poems, short stories, plays, songs, or excerpts. My name is Anne, and this blog contains a collection of my thoughts, musings and writings (poems, short stories), some songs I like, plus a sprinkling of excerpts I find worth sharing --hence, AnneThology.

Did you know?

Anthology derives from the Greek word ἀνθολογία (anthologia; literally “flower-gathering”) for garland — or bouquet of flowers — which was the title of the earliest surviving anthology, assembled by Meleager of Gadara.

Look, what I have -- these are all for you.